Every day I ask myself, how can I be a safer person? With danger lurking at every door, you can never be too careful. Yesterday, a true friend sent me a link to an unsung crisis in our own backyard…velociraptor attacks.
Yes, velociraptors, an emergency often reserved for Jurassic Park enthusiasts, is now a threat we all must defend against. The American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention claims that these prehistoric predators are now “commonly being sighted in the Pacific Northwest.” While this may spur you to review red cross recommendations on emotional health, the raptor “society” offers these tips to the public:
1. Know the Enemy: The society states that “Velociraptors hunt in packs, and are known to form an equilateral triangle around its prey.” Similar to Chuck Norris, the “society” also claims that velociraptors “do not know fear.”
2. New Home Buyer Tips: Check for steel or solid oak doors, buy deadbolts for every entryway and stay near a loaded rifle and a tire iron. The “society” is very firm on this point, that one “should never be farther than 20 feet away from a tire iron.” Much like pandemic flu preparedness, you may need to shelter-in-place with weeks worth of supplies.
3. Meet the Neighbors: Once you’ve prepared yourself and your home, you must research your surroundings. The “society” recommends you take this simple quiz to locate raptors in your own community.