While I might not be the biggest book reader, nor am I actively politically minded, I do enjoy a funny book that pokes fun at just about everything. That is why I was glad to see The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents EARTH (The Book) on sale, similar in style to their previous guide, America (The Book). EARTH covers all the basics of humanity and it’s interactions on planet earth, presented as a guide for aliens to find. Everything from safety tips for Earthquakes (Stay away from chandeliers, shelves containing bowling balls and California), imaginary wilderness indigenous to supermarket magazine racks, to even defining love (scientifically through the chemical reactions at the synapse level).

To be expected from the Daily Show team, they also poke fun at society and culture. One section discusses the concept of altruism, the selfless regard to our fellow man. This includes a scale comparing the various types of donation, with canned food (there is no expiration date on love) at the bottom and body organs (ideally without waking up in a bathtub full of ice) on top. Donating blood actually appears near the bottom, just above monetary donations and below barely wearable clothing. Apparently one of the major collection methods for monetary donations comes from viewers in an effort to get celebrities to stop embarrassing themselves on telethons.

On the flip side, the war section discusses the violent nature of our species. It includes the supposed original Geneva Convention drafted by the International Red Cross, proclaiming that soldiers can attack healthy people but can’t attack the wounded, hospitals, or anything related to the Red Cross. And they mean anything related to the Red Cross-

“You may not shoot members of the Red Cross (not even a little), nor prevent them from inspecting your prisons, nor touch their property, nor leave live hand grenades in their medical kits… nor fling dead rats at them for a laugh nor… look, just stay away from the Red Cross, OK? Who do you think wrote this thing?” (Page 116)

So there you have it- donating blood is relatively easy, and volunteering with the Red Cross is a means to avoid war. At least according to this guide, which is now becoming part of my car preparedness kit since humor has it’s own healing qualities.

Photo: Entertainment Weekly